Nightmares and my Day

For a while after Dink's accident Emma was having nightmares. At first she was not telling us but when she did we made a way to make it work. We couldn't find a dream catcher right away so our neighbor gave her a rope doll and we told her it was a Dream Gobbler. Then once we went to Garner we stoped in San Antonio on the way back and we found one she really liked. Now Emma is doing well and she has actually slept in her room alone ( with all the dogs).

I on the other hand have been still having nightmares and daymares, if that's even a thing. I know it will stay like this for a while and I have come to terms with it. I have talked to several people in my group that have found their spouses and they all have told me, you never get rid of the image/memory of that day.  But they do know and have said that it fades and it will get farther in between. I can't wait for that but I know it's a process. I hate that I'm ok one minute then crying and a broken mess the next. 

Now not only do I have to worry about my daughters sleep and my sleep, now my dog BamBam is having nightmares. He cries and runs and whimpers. Not only I have noticed but my other animals have too. They try to sleep with him and comfort him. When I just woke him up out of one of his dreams and he looked terrified. I have no way to know if it is connected but I feel bad. I am very attached to what I do have left and my animals are like my kids. It hurts to not be able to fix things. 

As for the rest of my day it was a nightmare in it's self. I took the day off to take care of all the death crap I have going on. I never thought I would have been taking care of these things at 27. It's really depressing. 

Back to my day. I woke up at 7am to be at the social security office before it opened. I was there before opening and they had a line around the building. Then once I get inside I get put into the wrong line so I had to get back in line after being there hours already. After the social security office I go to have lunch with my daughter at one of my loves favorite places, Wich Wich. Emma wanted Daddy's favorite sandwich so I had to order it for her. It was both hard and made me happy. I love that she loves and misses her daddy so much. 

After lunch we went to pick up the death certificates. Once I had them it made everything seem so real and suck a lot more. I had to take them to the bank to try and get my cars taken care of and the accounts that are frozen closed. Having to talk about him all day at the social security office then at the bank didn't make for a good day. 

To end my day I went to my doctors appointment and got to hear TK and find out how she is and that she is growing just the way she should.