Where did my family go?

Family has been and always will be the most important thing to me. I remember as a kid I always looked forward to holidays, birthdays, and weekends because I always knew we would get together with my family, run around with my cousins, sit around to eat meals, and play games. Before my parents got divorced both side of the family would come together as one for holidays and birthdays. After the divorce my moms side would do their thing and my dads side would do theirs. Yet they all still managed to get together and I made a point of it to make sure I went to both sides. No family is perfect and some people would go long periods of time without speaking yet I always made sure to see ALL of my family. My holidays would consist of me packing and unpacking my car 3-4 times a day just so I could see everyone at each gathering. 

Since the passing of Dink, My grandmother, and my dad all of that has stopped. My family has almost disappeared. My sister said it feels as if our family has just given up on us. at first I refused to accept this and I tried to talk her out of this thinking but as time has gone on I've decided to just leave it be. The last two years If I want to see my family for holidays I would have to call around and ask if anyone is doing anything. My sister and I have missed baby showers, birthdays, graduations, and other life events because we were after thoughts. 

My moms side bickers like little kids and will go years without talking. The only time they get together is when someone dies. When it's too late to mend the wounds. But what I don't understand is why be so bitter and hateful to a family member in the first place? 

My dads side of the family had the strongest connections. We would get together with family from out of town and all over the US several times a year. Holidays, Mardi Gras, camping trips, etc. Our Cinco De Mayo parties were epic! Birthday parties lasted a day and a night sometimes into the next day. And EVERYONE attended. My father was the last to pass away in 2014 and after that no one was willing or wanted to get together any more. We haven't had any holidays and I always invite everyone to every birthday but only a few would attend and every year the numbers dwindle. Granted my cousin did attend Emma birthday this year. 

Lots of people ask about Dinks family. Well most of them live in Louisiana. It's hard to get over there on one income and two small kids. I don't want to drive that far alone and if I ask someone to come along I feel obligated to pay their way.  Ok so what about the family here in houston. He has a few cousins and an aunt. I hear from them now and then and keep in touch on Facebook. Two of them come by and like to see the girls and I am pretty sure they have visited with them more than any of my family has. 

Holidays are the hardest times for grief. It's a reminder of those who aren't there. When your family has no interest in getting together it's not only a loss of a loved one but a loss of all the connecting people you had with that loved one. Here it is Wednesday November 22nd, the day before thanksgiving and I have not heard one peep from either side of my family. No invited to dinner, no what are you bringing, nothing. I'm so sad that this is what my family has come to.

Yet even with the loss of our family I know the girls and I will have wonderful Holidays because we have new family and friends. The Martinez family has always let me know where the holidays will be held and we were even asked to go to Arkansas this year. Shevon and Gabby always send times and dates of where birthdays, and other events will be. And Darius's family has taken us in with open arms, we are not only invited but expected to be present. Most of the time I'm the one telling Darius where his family is doing the holiday or event.

I wish my family was as close as there were before but I am forever thankful for my friends and Daruis' family for keeping the girls and I busy and happy.