I always told my husband how he should and shouldn't be with our daughter because she would remember. But now I'm scared she won't be able to remember anything about him. I told her to start writing down all her memories that she keeps tellin me so she can always rember no matter how big she gets. I even suggested her vlogging so she would have them forever. I am so scared of us forgetting.
As much as I am scarred of us forgetting, I am just as scared of TK not knowing her daddy. Not knowing how much he really loved her and how excited he was to see her. He is the one that gave her, her middle name. He was just as upset as I was when the doctor said he wasn't sure how long it would be till we coule have another baby, if at all. He was so upset not only because we couldn't but because he could tell how upset I was. He thought it was him and when we found out it was me he was so understanding. He held me and told me we would find a way.
My cycles had always been off so we had several false alarms. When we all found out that I was pregnant on Christmas Eve we were all so excited. Emma had been wanting to be a big sister and she was the one to see the "second" line. That could have been one of the best days of our lives, next to the birth of Emma. We had been journaling and as you could tell by Dinks Journal entrys he was happy.
I'm terrified of having this baby without him. I'm terrified of getting post pardom, but I'm mostly terrified for what the future holds for my babies and I. The way I planned our future is not at all how it's going to be. I don't know how I'm goon to do this without him. He was my rock and my shoulder to lean on. I miss him so much and would do anything to have him back. Not just for me but for my girls. I know how important a daddy is to a little girl.
Dink with a fetal Doppler trying to listen to TK
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